Diaries of a rockstar girl

Hey everyone ! this is Yook Sungjae . Don't know him ? He is member for Btob group . I really like Sungjae for some reasons . It not that I too obsessed with Korean people . He really looks like this . My crush . :) I get it when you all don't believe me . I'm just telling the truth . His hair really looks very same . Just his face different from Sungjae . HAHA . Sometimes , when I missed him a lot . I will looking at phone , searching for Sungjae pictures . It really helps me a lot . Even , I can't loving you anymore . I really grateful that I ever be your truly friend . The only girl that you trusted . Thanks for really making me happy even I know I never be the one that in your heart . :') 

Last weekend really got me depressed and miserable at best. He 's been dating with someone else .. and it making me insane when I knew that the girl is my very own cousin . My eyes can't hold my tears and I suddenly cried . I can accept that he is with the other girl but not one of my family member . Because it feels suck when someone you like , your relative . Gosh ~ All I do is cried and cried . It seems that I lose to a girl . Well , in fact .. she is more pretty than I am and got a good attitude rather than me . Maybe she perfect for him . Does my cousin ever realize that I talked to her a few months ago , telling the truth that I like him . Maybe she does not remember at all . I know she will deeply in love with him since he really a popular guy at my school . He got some cool style and his voice would makes girl suddenly fall in love with him . There's a lot girls trying to chase and tried to makes he as his boyfriend . But , he acted liked a 'prince '. Just m...

 No wind blowing ,  No you seeing ,  Even you here ,  I just let you go . Right here on the middle , I see you there , Standing alone , I wish I can go nere . My heart stop pouding , No more waiting , Deep in my heart , I still missing you . Now I hate you , Stop loving you , I can't stop thinking you , Even it hurt . I pass you by , I want to say why , I'm looking at you , but Pretending to hate you . You are here , I wonder why , I keep thinking , Now you're change . Sleeping alone , With tears , How could you , Broken my heart . Sometimes I smile , Sometimes I cried , All the sudden , Because of you . I wish I never met you , I wish I never knew you , That's all I can say , Now , you just somebody that I used to know ..

I can't believe he will leaving this world forever ... .. Hrm . Don't understand right ? okey2 .. let me explain slowly ..  I ever loved a boy when I was 12 years old .. His name is Andrew. :) The first time eye contact with him, my heart started pounding. He is also a new student in our school .. As he is from the next class , I always try to sneak closer look at him. I love his cheerful attitude, laughing , know how to make funny and others . Although I never knew him more closely ..but  only to see him smile and laugh .. I was also happy.   On this Wednesday ( 6 May 2012 ) , he died of drowning. I was just numb .. without the words. This heart feels empty. I can't cry. I just sympathize impending death. Maybe this is his destiny ... Even if I cry, I cannot turn his back .. I am very disappointed because until now, I still have not been able to express my feelings on him .. .. I will always miss you , dear friend .

I'm back !! How I really miss this blog so much ! Dear readers ... I wanna tell you something ... that makes me smile all day , last week .  .    Last Wednesday ,  I keep thinking that I can forget about him after a day avoid from him. I really miss him but I must keep this way to stop this feeling towards him  .. but ...   The next day, I had to sit behind him .. my heart began to beat fast ... After we were given exercise by the teacher, he sat facing me ... I was silent, stiff. Sometimes, I staring at him while he was talking with his friends . but difficult for me because he always glared at me .. I noticed he kept looking at me to and he also borrowed my pen ... I'm feel weird, I noticed he always copied my answer even my friend sit beside me was clever and also clever than me .. He also checked up my beg and eat my lunch .  An unexpected, suddenly he gently rubbed my head .. My heart feels like exploding . I suddenly bite my lip so , he did not...

From the title of this post , you all know that I feeling sad and disappointed with them ..  I just want the best for our group .. I do not want to squander all the opportunities that available .. I don't have any mood to play if it related to the auditions and competitions .. I just want to be serious .  Next year, I will stand the PMR . They just can't understand .. I am tired  to get support from my family .. especially my parents . How I want to enter the dance audition .. I also just like the other people .. who want to try something new. . who wish to prove  my own ability .. I know I am still new to the dance world , but I can't blame myself  for liking something that I like right ?. Haiz ~ Indeed, this is what I want for this .. . but we can't even enter the audition .. . :'(

Hey guys .I'm feel great today . My parents and I going to my uncle's house . And as we arrive , I'm taking some pictures of my cousin . Totally fun ! I guess , that was the first time of this week that I smile and laugh . :) Let's share my happiness  We'll kinda looks too excited . HAHA ! I bet this is the first time , I uploading some photos of mine in my post . XD