Diaries of a rockstar girl

 So,clearly I purposely write about this BESTFRIEND topic because I don't want people end up being like me.Well,you might think that I'm pathetic or just can't get over him,but honestly FRIENDZONE sucks .I have been keeping this for a long time,so finally I will be able to spit it out.  What is bestfriend with a guy for me? He is different from the rest of guy.Not to mention,I treated him better than my girlfriends.For those who being shy or uncomfortably being closer to guy,being his bestfriend make you think from different perspective.He can either be your girl-friend and guy-friend.I don't intend to make fun of him but he can be what you need.When you having trouble with some crap,he would listening to your story.And if you do anything wrong with other people,he would give you some advice.Some harsh advice,he doesn't like you being a bitch.I can do anything with him like what's the rest of couple have shared with each other.Well,both of us enjoy hitting each...

Back to Monday, we were having a math tuition. Since our class was full, my guy bestfriend had to seat behind me with his friend. At first, we didn't even talk. I'm doing my own exercise while they're making some noise in the class. Then, they called out at me.I turned around and laughed at their stupid jokes and we even talked about anime. Well, you know how it feels like when you have the same interest and eventually you guys become good friend. The weird thing is his friend trying to take up a few photo of me. And I trying to get up and seated on the cooler space, my bestfriend put his foot on my chair with a smirked face. I glared at him but he was acting innocent. When I reached home, his friend texted me. And suddenly confessed to me. I couldn't even believe what I was reading. But, I just can't believe his confession. Is it weird that his friend interested with me ? While my friend interested with him before this?Why don't both of us end up liking each ot...

I wonder what's makes things go wrong between us? You are the only boy who dared to walk with me even when I'm walking with my friend. Even when I'm not even comfortable being around you, you still catches me up and talk to me with your big smile. Yeah, we argued a lot during the walk but you still considered as my friend. And it went for only for while. You started ignoring me and we even pretend not to know each other anymore. I wonder I wonder why? Then this year, things being quite okay. Just okay. But yesterday, your words stroke my heart badly. I was just talking to my friend for a few seconds and you suddenly you interrupted our conversation. Of course, I was mad. You turned around and facing us and said, " shut up, you bitch ". You showed your middle finger when you saying those harsh deadly line. I was snapped. I'm so glad that we're not being close anymore. With you two-faced,you could fool me before but to regain my trust, it's a never. You ...

I did almost the same things everyday. I bet you too. I have to wake up early and force myself out from my sleeping land and my warm bed. I need to prepare things like books, making food and fill up my bottle. After that , I stare at the mirror for a few times. I let out a sigh but it feels hard. I take out a deep breath,hold it for few seconds,then let it out. Comforting myself that everything that gonna happens,there will be a reason behind of this. I pray to God for peace so that I sort of calm throughout the day. On my way to school, I probably thinking about what's gonna happens or what kind of problems will I face? Will it turn out better or worse? I still have some lingering doubt in my mind. Well,I got to say that I know sometimes it's gonna rain,things won't go well the way I wanted to be. But, all of this make me who i am today. Despite of it,there was a time that I wished time would stopped for a while,let my body and mind to relax and getting rid of exhaustion. ...

I have a good friend, he can be call as my further cousin or my cousin's relative. I knew him from small, that's because my mum were teaching his class on primary school. Until now, we haven't even lost contact because he is studying at the same class with me at tuition. I always love his cheerful attitude and honesty. Many people thought he can't read the situation and simply telling other people's secret. Appereantly,they forgot that every mankind arent perfect.So do i. Everyone have their own bad attitude and good attitude. Rather than seeing the baf side of a person,think clearly. No matter how bad you think he is,he sacrificed a lot to you guys. But up until now, he never deal anything with me. He is always supporting me in whatever situation and his warm words always heal my broken heart.He is my spy and always tell me good information about my bestfriend. How can people treats him badly? Nobody knows the feeling inside his heart.Everyday, things always end up...

OMG,when I was reading my old posts it so fucking funny.you might not get it but I'm started with this cutie blog from when I was 14.it doesn't look great as I'm just a beginner that time,but I hope I improve rapidly from time to time.I also learned that I'm beginning to be older as time goes by.But,that won't stop me from deleting some posts that doesn't make any sense and it looks like I'm embarrassed myself.I really did a lot regarding this blog,my teenage life seems to depend on writing everything to this blog.let me share something,I once have a blog for my pre-teen life but it doesn't last longer.I was a naughty and arrogant girl back then,maybe that's what people thinks of.I'm being good friends with a lot of boys from my class and also the next class which what some slutty girls jealous of me.Well,I thought they were just bad but I was wrong.they also had a blog and ended up humiliating me on media social.Back then,I was just 12.of course...

Despite of everything I am useless I can't make anything right I disappointed everyone I can't be the person everyone wanted I hurt their feelings with my words I make them suffered a lot Maybe maybe I should stay away from them I should turns away from them I should just being alone I should have thinking before talking I should know what they're thinking Why I am clumsy I can't read the situation I can't sense the broken feelings But I can't change it. I am me. That's how I'm living. Too bad, too unlucky. From the depth of my heart Im sorry .