Diaries of a rockstar girl

As a 17 years old girl, I have a desire of wanting to get into a relationship.It's kind of weird for a girl like me never enter some relationship with guy. I'm totally straight, but I couldn't find a way to make it happens. I really want so badly to feel how it feels when being in love, break-up and learn to live again. Maybe it's a dumb minded thing that everyone think of me. But, apparently, it might couldn't happen this year too. Having an important exam the end of this year and having parents who keep on bubbling about I need to face the reality of how scary real life will be. And how your SPM results determine where you lead your life. Love? Am i really a human being? I had read a phrase saying that "if you never encounter love, then you're not living your life well".But one thing that stuck I .my head "you will never lose by loving but you're lose by holding "yeah, after all this 6years ,I have never told him about how much I love ...

I wonder if he can see right through me. Feeling the warm of my heart as it beating faster wherever his name popped out on my facebook chat. I dont even know why, we becoming like this. I thought this. This isnt what bestfriends did in the first place. Not been able to see each other, hanging out,talking wherever see each other, calling and messenging like a normal people did with their bestfriend. Did i took a wrong step? NO. Have confessed yet? NO. I just dont get it. Then, i asked him about this matter bcos im about to blow out over these little stupid things . Me: why cant we act like normal as the rest of people? Him: what do you mean by that?arent we normal enough? Me: what im trying to say is we dont even talk or see each other in a real life. Him: ohh, i get it.So you wanna me to talk to you at school and talk about the economy, politics or some tv news? Sorry-but i didnt want to continue those fucking chat as he was talking nonsense while im bloody serious with him.Im tot...

Somehow,i managed to get some break time eventhough i still on an exam mode.i still have about 8 papers left,so exam will be over in the next couple weeks.i already used to get some eye bags bcos i rarely get enough sleep.and i get to lay rest my eyes after exam at class. i really stressed out bcos i was having a rough weeks.first of all,my bestfriend suddenly acting weird.he was acting like a childish kid.i told him that i wanna deactivated my facebook.then he nagged me and also giving many excuses so i wouldnt do it.well,that day,we arent having any exam and also class.i opened up my facebook just a day.so,i thought he wouldnt care less if i gone for a while but he suddenly said , " if you dont deactivated your fb before this,i would like to ask you to walk with me after school times up".im super shocked that i was thinking that he was made up that story.then i asked him, "give me 5 reasons why i shouldnt deactivated my facebook" and he replied that i would regr...

 tomorrow history paper 3 will be started.I had no idea of what i should write but I already find some information regarding tomorrow's topic.Actually,I never thought that I'll answer the exam for one month two weeks.That's ridiculous.I might die of lacking of sleep or too much pressure encounter my head.I should find a place to concentrate or else I'll be taking a nap after reading some revision.I miss my guy bestfriend.I think my post annoyed you guys.But dont take it seriously,I miss him as a bestfriend.No other mixed feelings about I'm having a total-secret-crush over him for 4 years.Just shh.I'm not ready yet to meet up this situation AGAIN after his ex girlfriend spoiled everything.But this sentence keep on playing in my head ,'' Why did his girlfriend that doesn't know me well,and both of us just a facebook friend can knows that I'm totally in love with his boyfriend?While he being my bestfriend for 5years haven't realize a bit about m...

I had a friend named Bernard Gunting.He was my schoolmate.On 2012,he was diagnosed with an ailment that can fatal his life.At first,it wasn't that serious,he'd still can walk to school.Apparently,the sickness becomes active and spread to all his body.The end of the year, he was diagnosed with an leukemia.He had to stop schooling and went through a surgery at the hospital.After a few months,my sister called me up,asking whether I knew him.I wasn't curious that much,I just doubted that my sister just randomly knew him.That when I knew the truth.My sister always went to the hospital to visit him.Well,you know,when my sister still young,she was also diagnosed with the same disease but my sister managed to cure and stay healthy till now.That experience makes both of them much closer.My first meeting him was last year.Right before PMR exam.I bought him some cakes which doesn't contains any milky and cheese stuff.He looked suprise and smiled brightly at me.We were talking a l...

Right,i forgot to write here about something important.My bestfriend told me that he was thinking bout something,in his mind lately.well,of course I did asked him what's wrong.but he won't let me know.He thought that this mess might ended up our friendship.So,i was really curious that he might know the truth about my feelings.At the end,he speaks up and said " I heard that you liked me all these times,even my girl knew bout it" How could I tell him?i don't even want any trouble for both us.So,I make up any excuses to save our friendship.I told him that I liked him back in the 4th grade.So,he was teasing me and saying that I'm such a stalker.well,i never dared enough to talk to an innocent look boy who has a cute little smile.But still,half of my heart felt uneasy about what just happening to both of us.We're just started our friendship back and getting more closer but someone ruined our happiness.I almost gavr up that time but he told me thay everything...

I wanted to tell you just once the love I just can’t hold back All the time I looked your way I want to tell you everything Today, I want you Today, I want to hold you in my arms The more I look at you, the more tears fall behind your back