Diaries of a rockstar girl

  kalau ada yang rajin stalk blog aku memang kenal Shen siapa,ya dialah bestfriend aku aka long time crush aku. Aku memang tak tau ah kenapa dengan jantung ini masih tunggu jantan tak guna itu.Opss terkasar lak.Dia masih dengan gerek dia tu tapi ayat flirt dia tetap tak berubah.Kadang-kadang aku terfikir,kenapa dia tak jujur dengan aku yang dia ada gerek.Dia ingat aku tak tahu ke,tak yah lah kau nak buat aku melting tau tak.Hati ini dah lama bagi kat kau,kau je pandang yang lain. Aku yang tetap dengan kau saat kau putus ati,macam-macam aku buat kau tapi aku kalah bila ada pompuan lain datang dengan ' rupa' yang ala-ala innocent,yang rambut contra dari aku yang frizzy ni,dengan body yang memang diidami girls yang lain. Apapun,aku memang terima kasih lah kat dia.Sebab dia lah aku tau erti ',benda yang kau minat tak semestinya kau dapat'. Dengan itu,aku ucapkan dia bahagia dengan siapapun. Sapa kata aku tak buat effort,aku cuba minat benda yang dia minat,dia cuba minat ben...

 hah,lama dah aku tak post pakai bahasa Melayu. sejak abis sekolah ni,bahasa english aku dah terumbang ambing sebab lame dah tak menulis atau communicate lam bahasa omputih ni.Time SPM, fuhhh banyak plan nak dibuat dengan rasa yang berkobar-kobar menantikkan last paper iatu subjek bio tuk abis. Tapi, lepas SPM busy pulak sebab perlu pulang kampung sebab ade 2 YB nak melawat kampung kitaorang. Hah Hah, sekarang nih kampung kat Sarawak dah maju yer,mengalahkan rumah sendiri lak.Anyway,habis je sambut krismas,aku dan kakak aku pi Kuching lak. Aku enjoy 1 minggu kat sana dengan perasaan yang relax dari gangguan sesapa pun.   Balik je pi home sweet home, aku plan nak kerja kat MCD dekat ngan rumah aku. Aku isi dengan full details mengharapkan aku dapat kerja,namun nasib tak menyebelahi aku.Lama juga aku tunggu,tapi supervisor tu tak juga kol aku.Lepas tu,aku ikut kawan aku cari kerja kat mall.Masalahnya,mall tu jauh giler.Aku risau dengan kos transport sebab aku memang tak terfiki...

 I thought we will end it this way, with silence and getting further. Until one time, i was sitting alone at the table and you and your friend suddenly joined me. Your friend sitting in the opposite of me while you sit next to me. You won't know how fast my heart beats when you sitting next to me with your eyes fixed at me when your friend asking me for help. I think if your friend don't approach me, i don't think you would go near me. You suddenly played with my phone,checking things inside it and act like nothing broken between us. You know how hard for me to keep a smile because you will ditch and took me back for some times. And then you guys gone and came again,you sit on my right site and it feels like you're closer when you asked some questions for that subject. And when i taught you, i can feels butterflies fluttering in my stomach and ... i just realized that we were alone without your friends. I totally blushed like a tomato when you show your cheeky smile and...

These past weeks, you seemed like you were ignoring me. I wonder why? After the last time we spoke, things was changed, getting worse. I don't even know what i should do. When we suddenly met up at the stairs,your head just stay low and looked down. I don't recall of us having a fight. I was searching for a perfect moment for us to talk, having a real conversation but you won't let me into your heart. When i looked into your way,and staring at your eyes,your eyes don't see me. Do you know how much, how much, i tried to talk to you. I'm waiting for you too to look like you're struggling to talk to me,but it just nothing. It's like we're living in the different world where there is no me in your life and no you in my life. :'( are you ashamed or too embarrassed to talk to me. Why won't you give a me chance to break the cold wall in your heart. Let me in so i can understand why did you do this to me. You probably won't get think,you probably don...

In my opinion, such girl and guy friendships cause nothing but trouble, especially where other people are involved. The people who the “Best Friends” are dating most times become insecure and jealous and therefore hostile to the “Best Friend”. It almost never ends well. However, like everything else in life, there can be no generalization in this matter. I’m sure there are guys and girls who have managed to remain best friends and nothing else. The most important thing is to stay true to yourself. If you really just want to be that person’s friend, then make it clear and be sure you’re both on the same page. However, if u have feelings for your “best friend”, you better speak up or you’ll be stuck in the friend zone forever. those sentences really stabbed me right through my heart. in fact , i always think of this thing. i always wonder if i made a right decision after all. :')

Hey guys, remember the girl who sit beside me?I called her Nino. Well, for the last few days, she was arguing with her boyfriend. She was crying silently with tears flowing down her cheeks. I tried to make some stupid jokes,but she just showed me her little smile. I talked to her about the two of them and finally she said, " he jealous of me for sitting next to Vins last sunday. I thought he was joking. But he was being serious and mad about it the whole day. I dont even careless when he sat with the other girl in front of my eyes because I trusted him. Why can't he believe me the way I do? ". I nodded and hug her so that she felt much better. Suddenly, she talked about my guy bestfriend when he passed our class. " why did he looks so handsome!!!  why did he have a pretty face???? ", a big smile appeared on her lips. I can see her eyes were sparkling brightly. I looked away and I know what I have to do to earn her happiness back. Then, we started to talk ...

 Last week , I went to tuition and when I headed into the class , I saw my guy bestfriend,Shen, sitting at the back. He was sitting with a cool aura surrounded him but his eyes fixed into his phone. I sighed slightly, he doesn't even looked me. I sat away from him so that he stopped playing with his phone but it was hopeless.I tried to talk with him but he just , too busy with his phone that I just talking let it away and talked to my cousin.When the door opened, I saw that guy coming through and I just turned my head down. He stopped infront of my table and I looked into him.He was giving me a sign that he wanted to sit beside me.I wonder if my bestfriend saw this but I was too busy with that guy and I gave him some space.I can see at the corner of my eyes,he was watching at us but he deserved that.Then, I turned back and started talking to his friend.I was pretty mad that I doesn't even want to look at him.Then, he said ,'' i told u to sit with me ''. I tal...